well today has been a real eye opener for me. i had to drop something off to shante today but i had it in my mind for about to weeks that i wasnt gunna be her friend anymore. i just cant do it. so i want give her the stuff i promise i was gunna get her and then we walked to a bookstore then back to her job where i basically told her that. i wanted her to let me go cuz i cant let her go. well that didnt go to well. i tried to explain to her that i havent been happy for a long time cuz i couldnt get over her since she was still in my life. i told her that i still love her and that i dont wanna be there when she moves in with her boyfriend. she told me about a week ago that she still loves me and cares for me but what good is that if your not with me? why tell me that knowing that i love you and that i want her back but you wont be with me?? i just wanna be happy and i couldnt do that with the way i feel about her and her still being in my life. well like i said she didnt take that well infact she didnt care one bit. i was tryin to have a good convo before we parted ways and she just acted like fuck you get outta here so i justed walked away. so i guess that moment i walked away is the moment i started to get my shit together. right now im trying to get my life straight get my apt in jersey by the end of the year and then ill take it from there . i told her i didnt wanna end things on a bad note and she said it wasnt so atleast i got that in the end lol. like i said before i rather have her love me and not be there then us bein friends and then me fucking it up sumhow cause of me feelins. anyway ill keep you guys posted