hey everybody. its been awhile so figured i write something. well nothing has really  been happening. just work and trying to say as much money as i can so i can get my own place early next year. if everything goes well ill have around 15,000 for the apt and thing i need like tvs and couches and stuff like that. well i did find something out yesterday that kinda broke my heart. yesterdays shantes cellphone forwarded all her gmail to everyone on her list so i got them as well. i read the first one and it said that shes been engaged since last month. i read that and my heart just dropped. i guess my time of trying to get her back is over. no more tj and no more her. i wasnt gunna let her know that i know but said fuck it and told her. she said she was sorry and that i never proposed to her but she neva give me the chance to. i guess im alil pissed cuz i kno just like she knows i can take better care of tj then him. so we dont talk anymore to make a long story short. i feel so stupid trying to get her back and shes engaged. all this time shes telling me that she cares for me and the love is there and shes engaged smh. well i always told her that i would move on when she gets married and since it looks like its gunna happen i left. im mad as fuck cuz i wanted to be tjs daddy. o well im gunna miss him alot. i didnt even get a chance to say goodbye to him :(

anyway thats it for that. today is wednesday so it means its gunna be a loooong day for me. im at work if ur wondering lol. guess ill look for more apts and see what i find in jersey city or hoboken. i also have to update my resume and give it to my boss so he can give it to his boss so i can get a hallman job at one of the trump buildings over there so i hope that goes thru. other then that im ok my familys ok and nothing else to say so as always ill keep you posted!!