i kinda knew this was gunna happen but didnt think it was gunna happen this soon. me and shante arent friends and i think this time its for good. she txted me saying that she has alot on her plate and she cant be puttin yamil on hold so in other words that was we cant be friends or i should say we can talk but only on txt and i dont want that so i think i just did her a favor and just left. we were going back and forth cuz what do you say to someone that youll never going to see.  so i said my peace. i told her that yamil has only been playin games and hasent been there for her like ive been. its funny after she posted about him not helping he spends the night and all is forgivin. i told her that hes not gunna do anything to help her better herself or tj. me saying that was like talking to the wall cuz i knew what answer i was gunna get. it want along the lines of well i did the samething when we was going out but its worst cuz we was together longer and that i wasnt there to help her. funny thing he is acting like i was but you have a chance to do sumthing about it but dont??? basically she chose yamil over me and ive been there for her thru all this. she said the only reason im doing all this now is cuz i want her back and its tru i told her that she right but its just more to it then me just doing it to get her back. in her eyes i cant change i cant grow up to be the father i know i can be. but at the end it didnt mean anything to her. she says shes still gunna help me find a apt but i dont care about that i want it with her even tho i kno its not gunna happen. i also get 10 minutes to say goodbye to tj on tuesday. how do i even go about saying goodbye to sumone i love so much?  im here crying cuz i have to say goodbye to sumone i care about sumone i wanted to see grow up and teach him things. i guess this is the most hardest thing ill ever do cuz saying goodbye to him is just me giving up but i have know other choice? life delt me these cards and i guess im gunnna finally gunna play them.

to shante i love you and hope you never forget me i guess im sorry for not knowing what i had till the end as corny as that sounds and just wish you wouldve givin me the chance i wanted the chance i deserve to show you that everything i did was for you and tj and that i did care and wanted nothing but the best for you. i know deep down your gunna miss me just like im gunna miss you. i wish you could just see that people can change and that i have changed but i know its to late and has fallen on  "deaf ears" i wish tj and you the best of luck and hope god puts you back in my life. love you

p.s. i just got a late txt from her and it said why dont i write about how all i wanted to do was take her to the hotel. ok lets talk about that. see outta all this time she still neva seen why i always take her to the hotel. all she say was fucking which she didnt mind doing btw. but she asked so im gunna answer it. see shante all you did was talk about how you neva wanna be home with ur mom  and since i dont have my own place i took her there to have fun. as a matter of fact if you read her blog she even says she likes going there so why even bring it up?? smh its sad when she doesnt see the good i do and all she sees was sex smh