to visit tjs grave on monday morning!!! me and my friend are gunna go well hes gunna take me but he wants to pay his respects to. so its offical now. i have to go. i been thinking of what im gunna say and i have no clue but ill think of sumthing. im kinda scared of going cuz i dont wanna start crying or feel like shit cuz i really miss him. not even shante knows this but this week after work i went to the hospital he was in. i didnt go in tho but i took the trip there and just stared at the hospital. you dont kno how bad i wish tj was inside so i can go to the fifth floor and say hello. after standing there for awhile i started thinking about him and shante and myself. leaving the hospital to go home was the saddest thing i had to do. as i right this i think i know what im gunna tell him when i visit him on monday. im gunna get everything off my chest so i dont have anymore regrets. im gunna ask him for his forgiveness and hope one day when i see him again i can get his answer

after that me and my friend gunna go christmas shopping in the city. really only shopping for shante tho. she already knows what shes gunna get but i might get her sumthing else. she told em she got me sumthing yesterday so kinda excited to see what it is hahaha i guess im still a kid at heart. my boss came today and told me that very soon im gunna have to go for my interview im also excited about that. plz god the only thing i want is this job!!!!!! lmao. anyway thats about everything that goes on in my life as of now. im prayin after monday i can finally let go of the past and move forward into the future we shall see. anyway ill keep yall posted