yes another year is here which means my birthday is coming up!!!! yeah my bday is next month on the 8th. i really dont do anything for my bday anyway but this year i wanna do sumthing. i already started getting txts and calls from people wanting to take me out that day but i dont think ill go. i did however ask shante to hang with me so ill see what she says but i think shes gunna say no to what i wanna do. see i was sitting here thinkin about the past and said maybe for old time sake we can get a hotel room in ur old hotel and have dinner and drink and watch so movies. basically just have some fun. the reason i say she might say no cuz yesterday ( friday ). i drank alil bit to much wine and did the whole i miss you bit!! i did say i was sorry tho but havent heard from her since. so i txted her my idea and told her ill ask her on monday what she thinks. NOW i know what everybody is thinking me trying to get her drunk in a hotel room to have sex hahaha. trust me i know this is whats gunna be in her mind when she reads it but no its not about that. i think she can trust me enuff not to do sumthing as stupid as use her while shes drunk. me and her kinda went tho that when she slept over last time we got drunk she wanted to rape me and i said no. so i hope that built up her trust for me.  i was talkin to a old friend about shante lastnight and told her the whole story about us ( this is another ex that calls me from time to time ) she knew of shante and that we went out but didnt know about us braking up. she asked me the question everybody askes me now that me and her our just friends and thats if i still love her. it took me a while to answer it cuz i wanted to be honest and the answer i give her was yes. she ask me explain why i still love her and i just told her i can sum up my love for her in word and thats " family". i felt bad talkin to her about that cuz she wanted a family with me but i was young and tolf her no so we broke up.  she got kinda mad and told me that if i felt this bad i shouldve showed shante that she was part of my family. i really couldnt say anything after that cuz she was right. if i had a chance to go back in time i would and just hold shante and cry telling her how i love her and feel lol. i rather be poor and with her then rich and alone.  anyway thats it for today. wish me luck with shante saying yes to my bday hahahahaha ill keep yall posted